What is Pegging?

What does pegging mean?

Pegging is traditionally the practice of a woman performing penetrative anal sex on a male using a strap-on. Since the female takes control, pegging can be a fun and exciting way to experiment with role reversal and domination, especially for those in hetero-relationships where the male partner has been dominating the bedroom a lot but enjoys anal play or being submissive.

For couples who enjoy anal play, pegging may come as a natural next step following initial anal play with fingers and anal toys such as butt plugs and anal beads etc. For others, however, even wearing a strap-on or seeing your partner wearing one may feel a little intimidating at first. The decision to try pegging should come from an open and honest conversation between you and your partner about your desires, and how comfortable you both feel.

“How does it feel to be pegged?”

With pegging, the man hands over the usual control he may be used to having in the bedroom. This doesn’t mean that women aren’t usually in control too (far from it) but for those engaging in a lot of hetero-sex where the penis generally puts the man in a dominant position in a lot of sex positions, pegging certainly gives the ladies a lot more power. With pegging, he’ll likely have no choice but to become a little (or a lot) submissive. So, if he likes the idea of being submissive, it should feel good to him mentally.

In terms of physical sensations, pegging will stimulate his prostate and intensify his orgasms. If he’s not sure whether he’ll like the feeling of anal penetration, it’s worth starting small and exploring with just fingers first. But if you’ve already tried anal play together and he’s a big fan, pegging is the way to go.

“Does pegging make you gay?”

In short, no. Pegging and anal play has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality. For both sexes, the anus is packed with nerve endings and for men, the infamous P-spot (prostate) is found inside the anus. Thus, it can be incredibly pleasurable to receive anal stimulation and certainly doesn’t bring your sexuality into question. Sexuality is about so much more than what type of sex you enjoy.

“Why does my husband want me to peg him?”

This answer to this question is somewhat similar to the one above. It might seem like a left-field suggestion if you’ve never tried anal before but take the time to have the conversation and ask why it is that he wants you to peg him.

The idea of your other half asking you to wear a strap-on dildo and penetrate him can potentially be shocking and pull your confidence into question, but it absolutely shouldn’t and if you take the time to communicate more openly, you might find that you both learn a little more about what you like in the bedroom and intensify your sex life as a result.

“Does pegging hurt?”

One of the most common questions asked about pegging is, “Does it hurt?” Well, as with any sexual activity, it’s important to keep an open line of communication with your partner and use plenty of lube to avoid any unnecessary pain or injuries. Start slowly and explore what feels good for both of you.

Communication is key – Communication during pegging is so important, it's like the syrup on top of pancakes - sure, you can eat them without it, but they're so much better with it. Without proper communication, things can get awkward or uncomfortable fast. Plus, you want to make sure that you’re enjoying yourselves and getting what you want out of the experience. It's kind of like a team sport - you need to make sure everyone is on the same page and working together to score that winning goal. So, the bottom line (pun intended): communicate during pegging for a smoother, more enjoyable ride.

Source your toys for pegging – Unlike some things in the bedroom, pegging needs specific items readily available before you get down to business. Find a strap-on dildothat tickles your fancy. This can be something you both choose together or by yourself. If this is their first time, try choosing something smaller in size first and gradually work up to something bigger. Investing in a harness means you can mix it up and switch between different sizes.

Lube lube lube – We mention this in our anal sex guide for beginners, but lube plays a vital part in ensuring a pain-free time. Make sure you’ve chosen the right type of lube for pegging, if you’re in any doubt you can read more in our ‘How to Use Lube’ guide.

Get warmed up – Warm up to pegging with foreplay, just like you would any type of penetrative sex. It’s a good idea to use your fingers or another toy first before you don your strap-on. Build anticipation by whispering to him what you’re doing to do to him.

Keep it clean – As with any sort of anal play, cleanliness is important. Jumping in the shower beforehand can often give you both that extra bit of confidence before starting. If either of you are worried about any brown matter being a party pooper on your pegging experience, consider investing in a douche from our anal sex essentials range. And always remember not to share any toys that haven’t been thoroughly washed first, too.

Relax! – Easier said than done, right? It’s important that you both feel fully relaxed, it’ll make the whole experience more fun for you both. As you’re both in unchartered waters, things may not be smooth sailing as you embark on this voyage but this is completely normal and fine - just enjoy yourselves. And if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.

We hope you have found this guide to pegging useful - pegging can be an amazing and intimate way for you and your partner to try something a little different in the bedroom and explore each other’s fantasies and desires. Just stay open with each other, experiment, and have fun finding out what works for you. So grab your partner, grab some lube and buckle up for an incredibly pleasurable and intimate experience.

For more sex & relationship advice, explore our guides and find out everything you need to know.